Door to Door to Close the Door

Door to Door to Close the Door

young man with a clipboard at the door
Neighbors have complained about cell phone service
in your area
he says and I think
for one wild moment
he means that my personal energy field
is shooting lightning bolts through the neighbor’s
Happy Birthday Granny shout-out
but no

it’s just the usual static and call dropping
words going where they weren’t aimed and
words turning themselves inside out and
words refusing to go at all
caused by sunspots holes in clouds air currents
squirrels birds tree branches radio drifting off the station
or just plain too many people talking all at once
anyway that’s what I’ve always thought but
now I’m understanding
the young man wants me to do something
to fix it and

putting me once again at a loss as to what Oh wait
he speaks again. The task is much easier
than I would have guessed:
just buy into the service he is selling
he will see that sunspots and static and et cetera
never bother me or my area again 
and to prove it
he compliments the pots of flowers on my front porch
takes a step forward holds out the clipboard
mentions the company’s name smiles promises to
solve our pressing neighborhood problem
whatever it is exactly
I reflect on how glad I am
I swept the porch this morning
it looks nice
and shut the door


2 thoughts on “Door to Door to Close the Door

  1. The narrator is far more polite than I am. One of the benefits of the pandemic was no cold callers to contend with for over a year. They recently reappeared in our neighbourhood and I had to do my useful strident and abrupt schtick to get rid of a couple of very pushy men. I had not missed that at all.

    • I have learned to just say, I am not interested thank you for stopping by – in one big rush as I close the door. I try to use a pleasant tone of voice. This is of course if I answer the door at all. Even before the pandemic. Now, forget it, nobody at my front door gets it to open.

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